make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
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She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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