you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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