Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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