I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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