I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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