he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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