I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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