he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
