everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He did a backflip because drugs
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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