So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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