So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
