I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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