Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
