there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
