i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize