It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
