Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
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I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
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New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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