Nicole vs. Life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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