that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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