using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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