Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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