I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult