Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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