just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...