I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize