My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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