There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
