Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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