the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
tell me about the eggs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
