cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
