remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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