Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I love you. Go after that dick
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