you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
