now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
