I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just high enough for therapy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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