found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
