I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi