We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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