I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Enjoy the penises
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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