Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
