After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
