47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize