idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
