I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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