Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
