WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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