Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If I die, sorry about rent.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize