Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
