I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
