I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
