Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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