handjob tips. give me some.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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