me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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