By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
