That's intense
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
