make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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