My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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