Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
