I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
