dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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